The self-help industry is huge. People benefit from the many books, DVDs and seminars that are out there, too. A lot of these self-help gurus, however, won’t share one vital piece of information with you: Failure is absolutely still possible. Fortunately, sometimes all you need is a little boost, and you can make your life into something you want.

As a mentor and career coach, nothing is more satisfying to me than when I help one of my clients see something in themselves that I know is there but has been lying dormant for too long. Yet — there is still no blog or book I can write, presentation I can give, or one-on-one coaching session I can hold with them that will be the key to unlock a magic door unless they are ready to step through it. The main thing that stops most people from taking that kind of chance is a lack of confidence.

There are a lot of reasons people lack confidence. Perhaps as a youngster, someone they loved or admired told them they were incapable, and they grew up believing it. Maybe something happened that led them to believe they weren’t capable of achieving their dreams. Others might have been so naturally shy they were too scared to step up.

So how do you build confidence? First, understand that confidence has nothing to do with brainpower or logic. I’ve worked with people who are clearly smarter than I am, but because they lack that same spark of confidence that I have cultivated in myself, they won’t have the life that they so richly deserve.

Tips to Start Building

You can start working on your confidence today. Much like learning a skill and only coming to realize you’ve mastered it over time, it takes a while to build your confidence. I urge you to consider several of these suggestions to start.

1. Look and Act the Part

If you want to be a CEO, but you just got your first job in data entry, dress like the CEO. Attend company-wide events and read the same magazines, too. Practice being a CEO for the day the opportunity comes.

2. Focus on Positives

Most people who lack self-confidence magnify the negative. The reality is you probably have small victories every day and the occasional big win. Focus on the wins. You’re a capable person. Sure, you’ll make some mistakes, but those mistakes will make you better prepared for next time, which should leave you feeling more confident.

3. Be Prepared

Afraid to talk in meetings? Write down a list of topics you think will be covered and prepare a remark for each. You may only be called upon once, but when you are, you’ll be ready. Always be thinking two or three steps ahead and anticipate when it will be your turn to shine. Compared to those left unprepared, you’ll look like a superstar.

4. Practice Gratitude

When you take a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes in the night to reflect upon both the small and large things you’re grateful for, you’re going to notice that your confidence expands. The world is good and not out to get you. Recognize the blessings and be glad for them.

A Final Thought

If you can’t cultivate that confidence, you’re going to be in trouble in high-pressure situations. It’s not always the smartest or most talented people who rise to the top. You can walk into a coffee shop and see the greatest singer in the world, but if they can’t look up and play for more than ten people at a time, it doesn’t matter how good they are.

Your level of confidence gives rise to your scope of dreams. The more your confidence grows, the better you feel about letting your dreams expand. Confidence building is something no coach or book or seminar can make happen–it’s on you.