When something as Earth-shattering as the COVID-19 virus happens, everything changes. Even if the actual virus doesn’t touch any of our families and friends, we’re still affected by the changes societies have made, and our world will be different. As we slowly pull out of this pandemic, we’ll have no choice but to live in the world of “The New Normal.”
We hear “The New Normal” a lot right now because people are trying to figure out what their world will look like when the COVID-19 isn’t dominating headlines. However, when we examine what “The New Normal” has become, we find it’s whatever happens in our lives when we wake up that morning. In other words, there is no “New Normal.” In fact, there is no “normal” at all. We just tell ourselves that because it reduces anxiety and gives users a sense that we have more predictable day-to-day lives than we actually do.
For many people, the idea that there is no “normal” is scary, so they won’t face it. With the proper perspective, however, the real takeaway is understanding that the control we have is in adapting to the world around us and to the circumstances we quite often didn’t create. When we step back and think about it, it’s impressive how equipped we are to deal with change, either long-term or momentary, and how the human animal has evolved to adapt to the progression of ever-changing scenarios.
Let’s look at a fairly superficial example: Let’s say you walk into your favorite restaurant where you always order the Lemon Chicken. That day, they are out of it. It’s a moment of disappointment, but you’re able to find a replacement for the day. Now, what happens if you go in and they say they’ve taken the Lemon Chicken off the menu? You’ll probably pick something else, but you’re forced to, however trivial, make a few decisions. Was it really your favorite restaurant or was the Lemon Chicken what brought you there? Could it still be your favorite restaurant if you spent the next six months sampling different dishes to find a new favorite? Should you simply stop going to the restaurant because nothing will ever be as good as the Lemon Chicken? Are you actually resentful or angry they took your favorite dish away?
Some people will shrug, pick another dish and move on with their lives. Others will be upset, hold onto those negative feelings and have trouble moving on with their lives. The truth is: people do respond this way with something as benign as a favorite meal or as important as their schooling or career or where they live or who they may have as a partner.
The one thing these two personality types have in common is that they have to keep going with their lives, like it or not. Why do some people handle change so poorly and others so well? It comes down to the ability to not personalize a lot of what happens in the world and to mourn quickly.
During the layoffs and furloughs happening because of the COVID-19 shutdown, a lot of minimum wage employees understand it’s necessary to cut back on spending radically. Millionaire athletes, on the other hand, complain they can’t work, even though they are still being paid — as if it were a personal insult keeping them off the playing field.
When you can appreciate that most things that change in life are not about you, it’s easier to get past the mourning stage. People with better attitudes mourn things more quickly than those that don’t. They can put things into perspective and move on.
What do they move on to? The New Normal.