If there were a lottery for winning an exemplary father, I hit the jackpot. I'm here today because of my father. I don’t just mean physically. I mean everything that makes up my personality, my beliefs, my motivations, and my convictions; they are all a direct result of watching the hardest working man I’ve ever known make a good life for himself and his family.The word “exemplary” means “worthy of imitation or commendable.” We need more fathers in today’s society who live up to this definition, and we need to celebrate those who always have.
Celebrating My Father and Role Model
My dad came from a remote and impoverished village in Haiti. Nobody from his village had ever left to pursue a better life until he made the decision that he wanted not only more for himself, but more for his future family.In Haiti, most people are poor and go without some of the necessities. My father made sure that didn’t happen in our family. We weren’t rich, but he worked hard to give us a middle-class lifestyle where we never went without.His number one priority – which I think should be every exemplary father’s number one priority – was to make sure that I got a quality education. While so many of Haiti’s youth toiled in substandard public schools, he worked his fingers to the bone to make sure my siblings and I got the best private education he could afford.
How I Learned about Fatherhood
I think when a father displays he’s a decent, caring provider for his family, his children recognize this, even at a young age. I know I did.I have always been in awe of how hard my father worked and how much he put his wife and children before himself.Today, I have a life I don’t think he could have imagined for himself. I’m a proud member of the United States military, and I make a decent living, much more than he ever made. I have an amazing wife and two wonderful sons as well who I try to set a good example for everyday.I know if my dad hadn’t demonstrated what it meant to be an exemplary father, I wouldn’t be the man or father I am today. The behavior my father modeled is why I believe it is essential for children to not only have a father in their lives (especially for boys), but a high-quality father to teach them what they are supposed to be like when it’s their turn to be an adult.
How to Be A Role Model for Your Children
Want to be a role model for your children? Need a couple of quick ideas on how to get there? Start with the three easy suggestions below, and see how much better you feel about your fathering skills.
Listen. Do you really know your child? Do you understand their likes, dislikes, dreams, and fears? Do you take their opinions seriously? Do you think they see you as someone they can talk to in good times and bad?
Be There. A recent study suggests that in a two-parent household, a mother interacts with her kids three times more than a father between birth and ten years old. Make a commitment to be just as much a part of their lives as their mother is during their formative years.
Make Them Feel Safe. We’re quick to dismiss a child’s fears but that monster under the bed is just as real to them as making the mortgage is to you. Don’t make them feel bad about what scares them, and assure them you would never let anything awful happen to them.
I hope you find these suggestions helpful. If you have used other positive fatherhood strategies, and they have worked for you, please share. Even if what you tried didn't work well for your family, maybe it will work for another. We all learn from each other, and it's time to uplift the wonderful things fathers do to help their families.
So, let's share and support one another. I look forward to reading what you have to say.In the next blog, I’m going to talk about the ultimate exemplary father, God, who sent his only son Jesus to Earth to be sacrificed for our sins.