To seriously address the issues surrounding fatherhood in America, we need to understand what the statistics show. As I mentioned in the previous introductory blog, I don’t want any single mothers to take offense to anything that I’m saying. They do fantastic work and often raise amazing children on their own. In most cases, their man has left them. That’s a big reason for why I’m writing this series on fatherhood. We need to get men to stop leaving and live up to their responsibilities.
What the Statistics Show
Statistics published by Fatherhood.org, taken from the US Census Bureau in 2017, leave no doubt that children almost always end up in a better position if they have two parents in the home. Unfortunately, 19.7 million children (a little more than 1 in 4) live without a father in their home. Even more unfortunate is how that number has exploded in recent years. Only three years earlier, in 2014, that number was 17.4 million.Fatherhood.org defines a fatherless household as one where a child is living without a biological, step, or adoptive father. The statistics they’ve gathered show that a child raised in a home without a father is one or more of the following:
more likely to have behavioral problems,
more likely to commit a crime,
more likely to go to prison,
two times more likely to drop out of high school,
two times more likely to suffer obesity,
four times more likely to live in poverty,
seven times more likely to become pregnant as a teen,
more likely to face abuse and neglect,
more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.
I think these statistics are scary because they show that coming from a fatherless household is like having two strikes. Of course, not everyone that comes from a fatherless home ends up in a bad situation, but if more fathers would honor their responsibility, these statistics could turn around.
Absentee Fathers
There are considerable differences in absentee fatherhood statistics when broken down by ethnicity. The disparity between races is huge.
The Negative
Asian – 85% of children living with married parents; 7% living with a single mother
White – 74% of children living with married parents; 13% living with a single mother
Hispanic – 62% of children living with married parents; 23% living with a single mother
Black – 36% of children living with married parents; 47% living with a single mother
I don’t know why there is such a huge difference between the races, but I think it’s something that we need to begin looking at. We also need to examine the culture of fatherhood to understand how we can change these statistics.
The Positive
While the above information doesn't help improve how society views fatherhood, I do want to end with some positive statistics that support those fathers who step up. The nonprofit organization, Zerotothree.org, which focuses on development in children in the earliest years of their lives, surveyed fathers not too long ago and released their findings.
90% of dads say being a parent is their greatest joy.
85% of dads say being a father is the best job in the world.
73% of dads say their lives began when they became a dad.
62% of dads want more information on how to be a better parent.
I think these statistics are heartwarming; they show when a man lives up to his responsibility, it’s not a drag and doesn’t ruin his life. In fact, it makes his life far better. We need more good news like this to be spread among the depressing statistics.So, if you are a father, or thinking about becoming one, here are a few tips to help you avoid becoming another gloomy statistic.
1. Leave a Good Legacy
Most business people and political leaders care a lot about their legacies. They value what will be said about them or how they will be seen 20 or 30 years after they leave this earth, so they do their best to shape their futures positively. Why not consider being a father as shaping your legacy? I’m not saying that selfishly because some parents live their lives through their children, and that’s wrong. But think about how proud you would feel when your kid turns out so well that someone mentions what a good job the parent has done? I’ve heard people say this often when congratulating parents for raising a phenomenal child, and that’s a great legacy we’d all love to leave behind.
2. Know Your Priority
I truly believe one should have priorities in life. If your priority is your job, then it’s not time to have kids yet. Once you know your kids are the number one priority in your life, you’ll do the best you possibly can to invest in their lives. There’s nothing better than having a little soul who depends on you. You are their world, so don’t let them down.
3. Be Their First Role Model
By being there for your children, you have the opportunity to become their first role model. It saddens me a lot when I hear parents say that an athlete is his or her child’s first role model, especially when the athlete messes up. I vividly remember an athlete saying to his critics not to consider him as a role model because a child's role model should be his/her parents. And it hits home: do your job well, be a great role model to your child and, most importantly, don’t worry about statistics. Just do right by your child. By doing so, you’ll leave the world better than you found it because the generation you leave behind will be fantastic.